Hi, my name is Kristin and I am a Facebook junkie.
I admit that when Facebook first came out I was like, seriously? Now I have to know what everyone is doing all the time? Who would be vain enough to be on a website like that? As it turns out, not only am I that vain, I'm a bit of a voyeur, because not only do I like to share the mundane details of my life, but I like to know yours too. Maybe it's because I'm a stay at home mom married to a business traveler, but Facebook makes me feel like I'm "in touch" with people even though I am in my sweats feeding a baby and listening to Elmo's World.
As much as I love Facebook, I find that everytime I log on I find myself irrationally annoyed by someone's post. Here are a few of the Facebook trends that are beginning to put me over the edge.
-The "I just ran 117 miles/did yoga for 6 hours/walked across my living room and burned xxx calories." Super duper. I just changed a nasty diaper and the image will surely ruin my next 2 meals. Booyah. I also saw someone who wrote "If you don't set the treadmill faster than 8.0 mph you have no business being on." Ok there, Usain Bolt. How about run outside? Also, hello, ignore button.
-PeOpLe WhO tYpE lIkE tHiS. Seriously, that sentence just took me like 5 minutes to type. Way to make a time waster an even bigger time waster. And this person's counterpart...
-Tha ppl that intenshinully tipe their wurds rong. If I have to read your post out loud to figure out what the heck you're saying, you're getting an ignore. Get over yourself. Whenever I read these posts I picture that kid from Malibu's Most Wanted (a cinematic classic).
-Peeple whu spell lyke thay never lefft secund grade. Real quick now? You're=you are, your=your. Lose=reference to weight, loose=what happens to your pants when you lose said weight. Seriously people. Spell check once or twice.
-Parental oversharers. OK, I am probably (definitely) guilty of this. But I think we should all agree that there are appropriate things about your kids to put on Facebook and inappropriate things. For example, "Stevie just lost his first tooth!" is appropriate. "Stevie just had a major diaper blowout up his back!" is not.
-The cryptic posts. Example: Joe Smith is worried. Or, Joe Smith can't believe that just happened! Why don't you just say Someone please pay attention to me!!
What am I missing?? I'm off to update my Facebook.
Well, y'all, as I've mentioned a time or two, I'm tired. Between the 3 AM replacing of the pacifier and the boycotting of the afternoon nap by Captain Destructo, my need for caffeine has increased exponentially. So as my two major food groups right now are caffeine and aspartame, I was thrilled when Shellee from Everday Sugar on etsy contacted me about a mug rug giveaway! You can check out all her cute goodies here.
We are giving away a set of two mug rugs like the ones shown above. To win, you must do 3 things:
1. Follow me publicly. 2. "Like" Shellee's page on Facebook. 3. Leave a comment saying "Trials in Toddlerhood sent me" or something to that effect.
1. Inability to control volume.
Captain Destructo has 2 volumes: ridiculously loud and slightly louder. The morehttp://www.blogger.com/img/blank.gif I ask her to use her inside voice, the more she gives me a confused look and then continues talking loudly. I'm pretty sure she has Voice Immodulation Disorder.
2. Complete lack of fear for dangerous things, coupled with fear of tiny insignificant things.
Example #1: Captain D is afraid of flies, yet not afraid to careen face first down a slide.
Example #2: Captain D will cry in the bathtub "no like-a the dirt!" at the tiny speck floating in the tub, yet will also jump into 5 feet of water with no adult around.
3. Slavishness to routine.
And by "routine," I don't mean enjoys waking up, having her coffee and then reading the paper starting with the Sports section. I mean I have to read her the same 3 books in the exact same order and ask the exact same reading comprehension questions on each page, in the same precise order. Also, when we go to the gym, she has to hold my membership card and hand it to the front desk clerk ALL BY HERSELF. Then she has to go stick it in the water fountain. Every. Time.
4. Willingness to accept punishment if it means doing what she wants.
I can see her weighing in her head if it's worth it to get out of her bed during naptime, even if it means a timeout. Usually she decides that she'd rather sit in timeout than endure a nap without her cowboy hat and Crocs.
5. The need to do everything herself.
You know how long it would take me to put her shoes on? 2.5 seconds. You know how long it takes her? Well, if you add up the time it takes to put on the first shoe, argue with me about whether or not the shoe is on the wrong foot, throw a tantrum, put the shoe on the right foot, remember that she needs to be holding Elmo doll, and then put the other shoe on, that takes.....about 17 days.
6. The asking of the questions.
"Mommy, whatchu doing?" "Driving." "Oh. What's Daddy doing?" "He's at work." "Oh. What's New Baby doing?" "She's sleeping." "Oh. What's that man doing?" Stop me when this gets familiar.
7. Pickiness with actual food coupled with desire to eat non-food items.
Broccoli and green beans have made it onto the no go list as of late. However, Play Doh and cupcake wrappers are still apparently delicious. Evidently, so are the old dried out Cheerios in the couch cushions.
In 5 more months she'll be 3, which I'm told is worse than 2. Until then, I'll be making plain "pasketti" and reading Goodnight Moon about 755 more times.