Happy Almost New Year!

Happy Almost New Year to all of you! I personally have big plans for New Year's Eve. My hubby is making hot toddies, which means I will be asleep within 10 minutes of finishing said hot toddy, and wake up at midnight cursing all the dang kids setting off the dang fireworks and pray they don't wake up my kids. Should be a good time.

I'm not one for setting New Year's Resolutions. I set the "lose 5 pounds" resolution for about 15 years, and finally just gave up. This year, I have a few things I'd like to work on in 2012, seeing as how I (knock on wood) will not be pregnant or have a newborn and will thus be slightly more functional than I was this year. Here's a quick round up of what I'll be working on.

1. Keep the house somewhat cleanish.
I've been checking out the Fly Lady website (google it, for some reason blogger's hyperlink isn't working. Either that or I'm a moron) and it seems manageable to me. I fear that the solution to my messy house will be getting rid of a lot of toys (grownup and kid) which will probably make me unpopular in 2012.

2. Get dressed every day.
How sad is this? Sometimes I take a shower and put on makeup, and then put sweatpants on. And by sometimes I mean pretty much every day. I rationalize that I'm not going anywhere anyway so what's the point in real clothes? But then when I was at my parents' house I feel all shlumpy hanging out in sweatpants when they were, you know, dressed and whatnot. So I started wearing real clothes and felt so much more human. It was empowering.

3. Not worry so much.
I'm a total spaz worrywart. Literally right now I scratched a mole that was itching, and then I googled "itchy mole" and now I'm pretty sure I'm dying. But most of my worrying is kid-directed. But before I stop worrying, let me run a few things by you and you tell me if they're troubling.
-Captain Destructo still poops in her underpants everyday. Every. Day. And she's going to be 3 in 3 weeks. And also I started potty training her when she was 18 months old. So that's 18 months of me sucking at potty training. Is that bad?
-New Baby won't sign. She can do things like point to her head and shake her head no when asked, but she won't do the sign for more. Instead she just shrieks like a howler monkey when she wants more food. I feel like one of those toy monkeys banging her cymbals together when I'm trying to get her to do it, but she just looks at me and laughs. So I'm thinking she's either (a) completely thinking that I'm a moron and refusing to do it out of spite, or (b) just doesn't get it.
-Seriously, the itchy mole thing. Am I dying?

So that's it, friends. Are you making resolutions this year?

The One With All The Toys

So Christmas is upon us again. And every year, I end up with Charlie Brown-style indignance to the materialism the holiday brings. "Who would spend all that money on inflatable Santas? Do they know how many needy children that could feed?" I scoff, while straightening my angel wings and my halo. I decorate our tree with some candy canes, slap a wreath on the front door and sit on my chair of self-righteousness, proud that I am above all the materialism.

And then it's time to buy the presents.

Here's my thing with toys. I get super excited to buy new toys. Pretty much as excited as my kids are, for about a day, and then they forget about said new toy and I trip on it in the middle of the night and I morph into The Hulk..."RAWR!! WHY DO WE KEEP BUYING ALL THESE TOYS!!" But then I forget how much I hate toys and see something fun and the cycle starts all over again. I have kept most of Captain Destructo's old toys, since New Baby is 2 years behind her and I keep thinking we will reuse all of the toys. But now I have baby toys, early toddler toys, older toddler toys, and Sesame Street toys. Add to that the fact that Captain Destructo is suddenly over Sesame Street and very very into Disney Princesses, and it's like a freaking Toys R Us in here.

Back to Christmas. I love seeing my kids open their presents as much as anyone, but the thought of all those new toys in my house makes me cry a little. As in most aspects of motherhood, I'm torn between teaching my kids humility and simplicity and giving them wonderful Christmas memories. (Although New Baby is only 9 months old. And let's face it, she's just going to eat the wrapping paper.) On one hand, I'm excited to see Captain Destucto open the Princess dolls she wanted. On the other, I know she'd be just as happy looking at the pictures of Princesses in the Toys R Us catalog that she's been carrying around since Thanksgiving. My solution this year is to give all of the old toys away, so that in my mind, it's kind of like I'm not buying more crap for my kids, I'm making a way for us to make a big donation to charity. In a month, Captain Destructo will turn 3 and I'm going to have to deal with all the toys all over again. At which point I'll be reaching for the leftover eggnog and crying into my pillow.

Merry Christmas to all, and to all a good night.