The Dirty Thirty

I know women aren't supposed to talk about their age or their weight, but here's something I want to talk about.

I am going to be thirty in exactly one week.

Thirty. 3-0. Three decades. Like, get the black balloons that say "over the hill" ready and send me a pair of orthopedic shoes.

I'm not one to really care about age, but as the big day gets closer and closer I get uncomfortable. I'm starting to feel like 30 isn't young anymore. I remember watching the episode of Friends where they all turn 30 when I was in college (I was 21. The last official cool birthday, by the way). If you've never seen it, they all have pretty hilarious reactions to turning 30. Monica gets really drunk, Joey cries and begs God not to let them turn 30, and Rachel re-evaluates her life and realizes she needs to break up with Tad. I'm forgetting how everyone else reacts (it was 9 years ago and I am apparently getting old), but basically everyone has a quarter life crisis. When I first saw the episode, I felt like 30 was so far away, and it seems like I blinked and it's here.

Yet when I was 21, I dreamed about having what I have now. I always wanted to be married and have babies. I realize that I probably set the feminist movement back about 30 years but I've never been one to care about that. I was shocked that my twenties turned out the way they did. Met handsome man at 22, married at 23, baby number 1 at 26, baby number 2 at 28. Now I've had a (short) career, I'm married to a wonderful man and have 2 beautiful little girls. I'm truly a blessed woman. There was a running joke when I was growing up that I'd be a barren crazy cat lady (my family has a weird sense of humor) so when I look back, I'm pretty flabbergasted to see how everything ended up.

But on the other, extremely vain hand, I'm sad to be bidding farewell to my twenties. I met someone once who said she could tell I was in my late twenties because I was "getting the lines around my eyes" (I kept Oil of Olay in business that year) and, although I haven't found any yet, I check for grey hairs every night. And doesn't your metabolism slow down at 30? Because I was really thinking how awesome it would be if I could eat LESS. And I'm also sad that the exciting, new parts of life that happened in my twenties are kind of over, you know? Like I've had the wedding, the babies, the new houses and now what's next? I guess my thirties will be the time for settling in and getting comfortable. I don't know yet if that's cozy or monotonous.

All this to say, I'm obviously conflicted about hitting the big 3-0. For my quarter life crisis, I've decided to train for a full marathon next year (so hopefully I will live to see 31). Have you turned 30 yet? Did it freak you out?