So at long last, after months of charting my temperature, examining cervical fluid like it was a Magic Eye poster and a little help from Clomid, I am happy to announce that baby #2 is on the way! I am only a few weeks along and probably breaking protocol by announcing so early, but I have a big mouth and can't keep it shut any longer. Getting pregnant this time around is so different than it was with #1 I couldn't help but write about it. Case in point:
With #1, I burst into hysterical sobs upon reading the positive test, then proceeded to take 5 more tests just to see them turn pink.
With #2, I took a test, started running around after #1 and forgot that I had taken a test. When I saw it was positive, I immediately started feeling guilty that I would be taking attention away from Captain Destructo.
With #1, I indulged my pregnancy fatigue and napped, in my bed, often several times a day.
With #2, I turn on Sesame Street just so I can actually sit still for 30 minutes.
With #1, I obsessed over pregnancy calendars and could tell you exactly how far along I was at any given point (3 weeks, 4 days, and 5 hours pregnant).
With #2, I have actually forgotten that I was pregnant for long periods of time.
With #1, I played the pregnancy card big time and refused to do anything dirty or difficult.
With #2, I am doing all the same things I did pre-pregnancy. I am even still washing dirty cloth diapers in the toilet without gagging.
I am totally thrilled to be pregnant again, that is when I'm not feeling guilty about taking attention away from Captain Destructo. I look forward to spending the rest of my life trying to make it up to her.
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6 hours ago
This pregnancy was not, in any way, planned. I have one year of grad school left, and a 300 hour externship looming in front of me, so we were supposed to wait until she was 2.5ish to start trying. But, as I often forget, God I in control, an not me.
ReplyDeleteWe were (and are) still nursing, and even though my cycle returned at 7 months PP, my cycles were odd - like 45 days long odd. When we found out (around 2 weeks before Christmas) the longest cycle I had had was 45 days, so when I was late, I didn't really panic. I was trying to chart, but that's really hard with a kid who won't sleep through the night, so I just had an idea of when I ovulated (I charted for 9 months to get preggo with Mads, so I thought I was on top of it).
Around day 42 I decided maybe I should test, just because I'm paranoid, and even though I was sure any sexin had been done around the very end of the month (and thus nowhere near normal ovulation). It was a Sunday, and Will and I both had finals that week, so we left Maddy with my parents after church so we could both study in peace. We stopped by Rite Aid and got a test, I peed on it when we got home...and I about fell over when those two lines showed up. I came upstairs, gave my husband the test and said "you ready to do it again?" He says "no, the other line isn't as dark, that can't be right!" Um, honey, if I have learned anything in obessively taking pregnancy tests its that a line is a line is a line.
It took me 6 weeks to be ok with it. I didn't tell my family for 3 weeks (except my sister and a couple friends). I just kept thinking that I was sad I wouldn't have anymore one on one time with Maddy. I am (as you are) an oldest child, and while we've always wanted lots of kids and while I know she has to learn to share and that she isn't the center of the universe, the fact that she will never know that there was a time in her life where she was the only light of mine hurts my heart a little. I love her sooooo much, more than I could tell her, and in many ways, I don't want her to have to share that love. There are days where I don't want to share it either.
I am told that these things are normal, and I'm sure they are. I am also told that once Moira (that's baby #2) gets here I will totally understand what moms means when they say that you just have enough love for all of your kids. I'm sure I will, though for now I just can't imagine ever loving anyone as much as I love her.
In short, I feel you. Congrats!
Erin
Congratulations! That's great news! When is the due date?
ReplyDeleteyayyy Kristin!!! Congratulations!!
ReplyDeleteHooray for more cute babies! Congrats Kristin, and to your husband too. I'm sure you're going to have so much fun with 2 kids!!
ReplyDelete