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My Favorite Things

  • Naptime
  • Caffeine in various forms
  • Italy
  • The Beach
  • Family camping trips
  • The gym
  • Storytime at the Library
  • Rachael Ray
  • Running

Friday, August 20, 2010

Birthing Drama

Disclaimer: This post guaranteed to lower your opinion of me.
Other disclaimer: Lady parts mentioned. Consider yourself warned.

Well, I've got about 28 weeks to decide this, but I've been thinking a lot lately about the birth of baby #2 and what I want to do.

This is ridiculous, but I've always had a fear of giving birth vaginally. I understand that God made our bodies to do that, and blah blah, but something about it scares the bejeezus out of me. I don't know if it's the actual birth or the episiotomies/tearing. In my childbirth class, the instructor showed us forceps, a vacuum extractor, and the scissors used for cutting you-know-where, and then explained a C-section. A C-section sounded much much better to me. Major abdominal surgery, maybe, but I wouldn't have stitches in my hoo-ha.

When I was 40 weeks pregnant with Captain Destructo, the OB explained to me that I wasn't dialated at all, but she could induce me the next week if I wanted. And I, who often ranted about how ridiculous it was that doctors induce for no reason, said "sure!" I'm sure there are women who are so strong in their beliefs that they are able to turn down an induction when they are 10 months pregnant, huge and in pain, but I'm not one of them. I knew taking pitocin was increasing my risk of other interventions but I decided I didn't care and wanted to get the baby out by whatever means necessary. It ended up that after 30 hours of labor and 2 hours of pushing, I needed a C-section after all, something that I was a little relieved about. Especially due to the fact that, about an hour into the pushing, the nurse looked at me and said "ooh, you're going to need a pretty big episiotomy!"

So that leaves me where I am today. Due with #2, I can decide whether to try for a VBAC or schedule a C-section. I am harboring some guilt about being induced with Captain Destructo still-I never got to go into labor on my own and was in the hospital for an insanely long amount of time. Something about scheduling another C-section, admitting I don't even want to try to give birth vaginally this time, makes me feel like less of a woman. But deep down, I really enjoyed the C-section experience (besides the actual surgery). It was quick, I recovered really fast, and scheduling would mean my mom could come down on time and not leave me alone with 2 kids. So I'm torn (though, thank goodness, not literally).

My sweet friend gave me a Bradley method book when I was pregnant with #1. I read it, only laughing at the pictures of 1970's hoo-has a few times, and at the time thought it was something I could do. So looking back I feel a little bit disappointed in myself that I wasn't strong enough to follow through.

But maybe not disappointed enough to try it.


  1. hahaha! I'm the friend! I think it's the best book out there for natural childbirth, but when I told my husband that I gave it to you, the look on his face was priceless! Like I had given you porn! On another note, you harbor waaaaaay too much mother guilt. You love your kid, you take good care of her, you'll do the same with the next- neither will remember how you gave birth, how long you did or didn't breastfeed- just do what you need to do. I personally, think natural is the way to go, but I'm scared of drugs, and allergic to stitches, so that's how my fear leads my choices. You're going to do great with whatever you choose! Miss you!

  2. Well you know I don't think less of you! I'll be you c-section buddy if you decide to do that again ;)

  3. Your first mistake was educating yourself on how it was done:D You wouldnt even notice half of that crap if you just went in with little knowledge of the procedure......that stuff is for the doctors and nurses to know:D Im paying them to do this stuff afterall.

    Ive given birth naturally and via c-sections...(Never a VBAC) I think c-sections are a lot easier...but, thats just my opinion.

    BTW--I love your blog

  4. hey! i love reading your blogs! Just to let you know, I had my first c section with kaeden (even after having my 10 yr old daughter vaginally) long story as to why but short story, he wasnt coming out and i was bleeding really badly.. so anyway, i have decided to make this one a c section too.. i am sure this baby will get only bigger.. and i have to agree. i want to have my mom there watching kaeden so kyle can be with me. so there. i dont think you should feel in the least bit disappointed.. btw, i was induced with my daughter, but luckily it was only a 2.5 hour labor.. so i dont feel jaded at all for not letting it happen on its own.. you do what you want to.. and that is that...:-)