The Sleepless Wonder

New Baby is 7 1/2 months old now. She is completely adorable and I love her so much that it physically hurts me. She's got super long eyelashes and squooshable cheeks and I just love her. I know that she's my last baby and I really am just trying to enjoy every second with her and not try to rush her to become more advanced.

But, um. There's just one thing.

Girlfriend won't sleep.

To put things in perspective, we're doing far, far better than we were in the "only sleeping every 30 seconds on Mommy" phase. And, either lucky or unlucky for me, when she was 2 months old, she started taking 2 2-hour naps and sleeping 12 hours straight at night. And I was all, "I have such an awesome baby! My baby rocks! I can sleep again!"

What's that verse again? The bigger you are, the harder you fall?

Once New Baby turned 3 months, she was over the sleeping. Why sleep when you can be awake all night? There have been highs and lows in the sleep process, but here's what my night generally looks like.
6:30-Put the Sleepless Wonder to bed. She falls right to sleep.
7:45-Sleepless Wonder crying. Replace pacifier.
9:00-Replace pacifier. Rock for a few minutes to get her to sleep.
9:45-Replace pacifier.
10:00-Replace pacifier.
10:30-Replace pacifier. Daddy rocks Sleepless Wonder as Mommy is kicking Elmo toys on way to bedroom each time.
4:30-Sleepless Wonder wakes up. Give bottle. Put back to bed.
5:00-Replace pacifier.
5:30-Replace pacifier.

Right now it's almost 8 and the Sleepless Wonder (and Captain Destructo) is still out. And I'm asking you all for help before I lose it. I read Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child and he says to put the baby in bed and ignore them for 12 hours. Ok, I get intellectually that that would work. But then wouldn't she hate me? And wouldn't I also be a hysterical, crying mess? My husband tells me Captain Destructo did this too, but I can't remember that being true. But I forget her name sometimes so I may not be the most reliable. Short of duct taping the pacifier into her mouth, what should I do?

Open Letter to the Lady Behind Me on the Plane

Dear Lady sitting Behind Me On the Plane,

Hey there. You probably remember me. I was the one with the two little girls, who I find delightful and you apparently find detestable. I'm going to go ahead and assume you have no kids (and if you do, I feel very, very sorry for them) so I'll enlighten you a little on 2 year olds. 2 year olds dislike sitting still for a long period of time, particularly if the sitting involves being strapped into a seat between her parents with the seat in front of her lowered into her lap. When 2 year olds are forced to do something they don't want to do for a long period of time, generally they get, um, loud to louder.

Here's what went down. The plane landed. Captain Destructo was super psyched to finally get out of her seat. However, as is typical with bizarro plane rules, it's okay to get out of your seat 30,000 feet above the air while traveling 900 mph, but not okay to get out when you are on a runway sitting still. Captain Destructo was not happy, and starting singing. That's right. Her ABCs in fact. But you, lady behind me, apparently dislike the ABCs very, very much. I will admit that hearing the song 3 times in a row got a little old, but we could have done without your "stop already!" And yes, we all heard you. You were about as subtle as Captain Destructo when she yelled "someone's stinky!" about an hour earlier. We also heard your loud sighs of exasperation.

So, because I am concerned about my fellow passengers, I told her to stop singing. She cried. Even louder than the singing. We didn't attempt to stop the crying. I hope you liked that better.

Sincerely,
Proud Mommy of future Grammy winner