Dear Lady sitting Behind Me On the Plane,
Hey there. You probably remember me. I was the one with the two little girls, who I find delightful and you apparently find detestable. I'm going to go ahead and assume you have no kids (and if you do, I feel very, very sorry for them) so I'll enlighten you a little on 2 year olds. 2 year olds dislike sitting still for a long period of time, particularly if the sitting involves being strapped into a seat between her parents with the seat in front of her lowered into her lap. When 2 year olds are forced to do something they don't want to do for a long period of time, generally they get, um, loud to louder.
Here's what went down. The plane landed. Captain Destructo was super psyched to finally get out of her seat. However, as is typical with bizarro plane rules, it's okay to get out of your seat 30,000 feet above the air while traveling 900 mph, but not okay to get out when you are on a runway sitting still. Captain Destructo was not happy, and starting singing. That's right. Her ABCs in fact. But you, lady behind me, apparently dislike the ABCs very, very much. I will admit that hearing the song 3 times in a row got a little old, but we could have done without your "stop already!" And yes, we all heard you. You were about as subtle as Captain Destructo when she yelled "someone's stinky!" about an hour earlier. We also heard your loud sighs of exasperation.
So, because I am concerned about my fellow passengers, I told her to stop singing. She cried. Even louder than the singing. We didn't attempt to stop the crying. I hope you liked that better.
Proud Mommy of future Grammy winner
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