Dear Ridiculously Skinny Girl at the Gym,
Congratulations at being ridiculously skinny! Really, I'm thrilled for you. I just want to let you know that we can all tell you are ridiculously skinny just by seeing you in your short shorts and skimpy tank top. Therefore, it is not necessary to remove said tank top in the middle of aerobics class and complete the class in your sports bra. However, thank you for standing front and center so that the rest of us could see your abs. I did appreciate how last week, instead of removing your tank top completely, you folded it halfway up. That way you maintained your dignity while still allowing us to see your abs.
I will assume you are not a mother, since you are (a) ridiculously skinny, and (b) not wearing t-shirts with old breastmilk stains and holey gym shorts like the rest of us. So thank you for still taking the aerobics classes at 10 AM with all of the moms, and reminding us what we could look like if not for our saggy boobs, stretched out belly buttons, and stretch marks. I look forward to seeing you again tomorrow, as I assume that's where your scantily clad self will be. I'll be the one in the back with the mismatched socks and shorts that are rolled up sixteen times because I wore them when I was pregnant and stretched the elastic past it's maximum.
Love,
Me
Hey hey... can you get ridiculously skinny girl's phone # for me? Thanks!
ReplyDeleteLMAO!!!!! hilarious!
ReplyDeletehilarious!!!!!
ReplyDeleteI know how you feel...hate those girls!
ReplyDeleteI don't know what you're talking about. I have a child, he's two and a half, and I look the same as I did before I had him! Actually, a little better because my breasts are bigger. They look great against my petite frame. My stomache is still tight as ever, no stretch marks, everything is the same! And I take care of myself well. I look good :)
ReplyDeleteEverything doesn't go to crap after motherhood. Don't use that as an excuse.
I know tons of beautiful mothers of multiple children that look astounding.
You let yourself go.
Super duper for you! Clearly you are as humble and graceful as you are beautiful. We should all be so lucky. When I am as skinny and wonderful as you are, I will be sure to insult random strangers on their blogs as well. Also? It's called spell check.
ReplyDeletehahahaha i love this!!xx
ReplyDeleteyou are so funny! i appreciate your wit and humor.
ReplyDeletei also would like you to know that I am the skinny girl at the gym. i lack your confidence, your strength, and i am jealous of your family.
men think i'm shallow, and women hate me on the spot. i can't maintain lasting relationships and i can't get a man ot take me seriously.
i am a manifestation of everything you hate and wish you could be. but at then end of the day you go home to your beautiful child, your good looking husband(if i might say so myself), and i go home to my abs.
give me my time, front and center at the gym. because frankly, it's all that i have.