Today is Captain Destructo's 2nd birthday! I'm not sure how excited she will be, as everytime I tell her it's her birthday she says "wear hat? Sing? Birthday cake?" And her actual party isn't until next week because I was too organized to get it together enough to do it before her birthday, and also because I can't find my cake decorating kit to make her a cake yet, she may be a little let down. I'm hoping the bouncy house we got her is enough to make her forget about that for a day. Captain Destructo has learned so many things over the past 2 years, especially the past few months. Here are some of the truly terrifying and exciting things she can do.
-Get herself a cup of water.
If you don't have a two year old who can reach the water feature on the fridge, let me illustrate how this goes. She finds a cup and shakes it onto the floor to remove whatever liquid is already in there. She then toddles to the fridge and fills the cup to the brim. She takes one sip, and pours the rest onto the floor. Then, when running back to the fridge to refill the cup, she slips in the puddle on the floor and begins screaming. Ever wonder why some fridges have a lock button on the water feature? This is why.
-Speak in complete sentences
I do appreciate the fact that Captain D. can communicate with me in a way that doesn't involve crying (or at least involves less crying). However, many of her sentences go like this:
"No, Mama. Itsa mine." OR
"Mama, yook! Theresa pee pee on da floor!"
-Mimic her daddy and I
This is a stinking cute habit, I will say. She likes to sit on the couch next to her daddy with her hands behind her head like him. She also rubs her belly and says "My baby is ITCHY!" like I do. However, she is also beginning to mimic less-than-flattering habits, like the scenario below.
Me: Time for a bath!
C.D.: Crap.
The further implications of this habit are frightening.
-Play doctor
Thanks to the episode of Sesame Street where Elmo goes to the doctor, Captain Destructo is fairly aware of what goes on at the doctor's office and is way less afraid of going (see? TV is good!). She also likes to play doctor at home with herself. She'll say "check your ears? Check your eyes?" while poking into her various orifices. She also likes to use headphones and pretend they're a stethoscope (although, weirdly, she pokes them into her belly button instead of her heart. Whatever.) But you can imagine why this particular habit is troublesome. Doesn't everyone have a story that begins "we were playing doctor and...."? Hopefully I can encourage her to stop with the poking into orifices before she starts playing with other kids.
It has been a wild and crazy two years and I'm excited yet terrified to see what else time brings. Happy birthday Captain Destructo! I love you and am so proud of you!
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