I'm nearing the home stretch of this pregnancy now, a fact that excites and terrifies me. In about 7 weeks I'll have another baby, but I'll also have ANOTHER BABY. In some ways it's good because I know what to expect, but also I KNOW WHAT TO EXPECT. Know what I mean? Instead of that blissful ignorance that came with the first one, I know what I'm getting into. But I digress. I've realized over these 2 pregnancies that many things the pregnancy books have told me are big fat lies. Here are some such lies.
Lie #1: Your hair will get thick and lustrous. Ok, I will concede that it's possible my hair is thicker and more lustrous. It's just in a scrappy ponytail most times so I haven't noticed. But I definitely do not look like a Pantene commercial.
Lie #2: Your skin will be glowing. Let's define "glowing," shall we? If "glowing" means covered in more pimples than a high school band, then sure, I'm glowing. Somehow I pictured "glowing" to be a little more glamorous then I currently am. For the record? The Proactiv commercial makers are a bunch of liars too. As are the makers of most acne products who claim that their product actually eliminates acne.
Lie #3: Exercising will keep your weight gain to the recommended 25-30 pounds I have sacrificed my dignity this pregnancy and continued to go to the gym most days. I am still taking kickboxing, spin classes and a class called Total Conditioning which involves plyometrics, weight lifting and cardio. I will give you a minute to picture how graceful a 8 1/2 month pregnant woman looks in these classes. This is a stark contrast to my first pregnancy, where walking to the refrigerator was most of my cardio. And yet? I'm on track to gain the same amount of weight. What's up with that, metabolism?
Lie #4: You only need an extra 200 calories a day Maybe YOU only need an extra 200 calories a day, skinny woman who writes What to Expect, but I'm freaking starving over here. I am dreaming about french fries and hamburgers. I finish lunch and start thinking about dinner immediately. What can I say? Maybe my baby is a future Michael Phelps and is carbo-loading in utero.
Seven weeks to go. I can only imagine what other lies I'll learn about...I do still have labor to go through. Until then, if anyone needs me, I'll be eating my second dinner and reapplying the Clearasil.