New Year's Resolutions for My Kids

Every year, I make the same stupid New Year's resolutions. It's always to be more organized and, depending on the year, it's also to lose 10 lbs. I shudder to think how many pounds I'll need to lose next year, but I'm trying not to think of it as I shove leftover Christmas candy in my mouth. This year, since I am due in March and have no idea what to expect, I thought I'd make resolutions for my kids.

Captain Destructo
Ah, Captain Destructo. Given her nickname for her uncanny ability to destroy the most sturdy objects, she is as curious as she is overactive. Here are some resolutions for her.
1. Stop eating non-food items.
For the love of all that's holy, when does this phase end? I've been trying to introduce Play Doh for about the last 6 months straight, and everytime I do, she picks up a big hunk and swallows it before I can grab it (interestingly, the label of Play Doh only says "contains wheat" so I don't feel too horrible about her eating it). The non food items she has eaten lately include (but are not limited to) crayons, dirt, a leaf, the top of a marker, and a corner of a book. Everytime I think she's done with eating crayons I find one in her diaper. Which brings me to my next point....

2. Use the potty
I have purchased 2 potties, 2 potty books, an Elmo potty video, and an Elmo who goes to the bathroom on a tiny potty. I am sick of talking about pee pee and poo poo. We had a good few months where she went once a day on the potty, but since then it's been her saying she wants to sit on the potty, me removing her clothes and then chasing her around the house bottomless until she inevitably pees on the carpet. It's awesome. I would like to only have one at a time in diapers, but I can feel that dream slipping away.

3.Not kill your new baby sibling
I've seen the way Captain Destructo plays with the baby dolls in the childcare at the gym. Think Lenny from Of Mice and Men. Coupled with her overzealous rocking of our baby swing and her oh-so-gentle "hugs" for her daddy and I, I think New Baby's in for a rough ride around his/her sister.


New Baby
New Baby is due in March and I am becoming increasingly terrified about his/her arrival by the minute. I love babies...you know, once they can smile and sleep for more than 30 seconds at a time. Plus Captain Destructo was a really good baby so I feel like there's no way I can get that lucky twice, so I'm convinced this one will be really colicky and fussy. But I digress. Here are New Baby's resolutions.

1. Sleep. A lot.
So I've heard of these alleged newborns who sleep for like 6 hours at a stretch, but I always likened them to the Loch Ness Monster or a Chupacabra. Fun story, but not real. But a friend who I trust said her baby did it, so I'm hoping New Baby is an awesome sleeper. I remember the early days with Captain D. when I "slept" on the couch in 15 minute increments and dreamed about my bed. Not psyched for that again.

2. To not have colic
I'm not going to lie. I'm completely terrified of having an insanely active toddler and a colicky newborn. I know many moms deal with far worse and I should be grateful enough if the baby's healthy (and I will be), but still. Please, New Baby, have an awesome digestive system.

I really am excited for 2011. Watching Captain Destructo turn into a little girl and feeling the baby growing inside of me have made for a wonderful 2010 and I can't wait to see what next year holds.

That is, when I'm not scared to death.