We just got back from a 10 day jaunt to see family on the East Coast. Other than being absolutely freezing cold, we had a great time and I have the following people to thank.
THANK YOU flight attendant on our 3 hour flight who handed us a pair of headphones while Captain Destructo was watching a DVD and informing us that she was too loud ("it's late and people are trying to sleep."). Really, buddy?! First of all, I'm sitting next to her and can't even hear it. Secondly, I can't get her to keep a cookie in her mouth while Elmo is on. You think she'll keep headphones in her ears? Good luck with that one. Also, I missed the "silent flight after 7:30" rule when I bought my ticket. Interesting. Lastly, you think the ridiculously quiet Elmo movie is disruptive? Turn it off and see what happens. I think you'll love her new "fire alarm" wail.
THANK YOU to the couple in front of us who chose to (a) make out the entire flight, and (b) recline their seats allllll the way back. When I got on the plane, I thought, "what's missing here? I wish a had a random stranger's head in my lap on top of the giant belly and overactive toddler." Although, sir, your wife/girlfriend/escort's bouffant hairdo was super fun to keep Captain Destructo from putting her hands in. So thanks for that also.
THANK YOU to my unborn child, for somehow communicating with your big sister and deciding to do the cha-cha-slide on my lungs everytime she jumped on me. It made for some totally awesome panic attacks when I couldn't breathe and had to practically throw her to your daddy.
THANK YOU to the manufacturers of Pampers who choose to put "lasts up to 12 hours" on the box. You should really say "lasts until it's time to get on the plane and then leaks all over your child's pants and your shirt." Also consider adding "and then your child will poop right before takeoff, force you to attempt to change her in an airplane bathroom which somehow results in getting poo on her clean pants." I enjoyed to Sophie's Choice moment when I got to decide which bodily function I allowed her to travel in for 6 hours. (I went with #1 in case you wondered.)
Finally, THANK YOU to my husband for real for being awesome and letting Captain Destructo (a) sleep on you, (b) jump on your belly and (c) watch 3 hours of Elmo on your lap. XOXO
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