My Funny Valentine

Valentine's Day is upon us again. I have to admit I have a bit of a soft spot for Valentine's Day, as I generally enjoy holidays that revolve around chocolate. Also, I like making a big deal out of silly holidays for Captain Destructo. It breaks up the monotony of our weeks. I plan on basically cutting every food item into heart shape and browbeating my husband into buying her something (but not chocolate, as our "potty-training" lately has her eating massive amounts of Hershey Kisses. Still no peeing in the little potty by the way). It turns out that Valentine's Day and I have a long, torrid history.

When I was in high school, I was...how to put this nicely? A huge dork. 20 pounds overweight, socially awkward, and overall a dork. Also, in a weird twist of fate, I was boy crazy. I pined over movies like Pretty Woman and Sixteen Candles and longed to find my Prince Charming. Although, shockingly, no one was coming a-calling. I spent 4 years of Valentine's Days alone, stuffing my face with an entire box of Russell Stovers.

College was much of the same. Although I weighed less and was marginally less awkward, I was always single for Valentine's Day. I dated here and there, but nothing serious enough to have a Valentine. College was possibly worse than high school, as all of my roommates were always in relationships and I got to sit around our dorms, watching them primp for their dates, stuffing my face with Russel Stovers and chasing it down with Boone's Farm Strawberry wine (mmmm).

So, as you can imagine, when my husband and I started dating, I made a huge freaking deal of Valentine's Day. He delivered, too. He tried to trick me by telling me to come to his house and bring formal wear, a bathing suit, and sweatpants. It turns out that he made me a fancy dinner, from scratch, and showered me with gifts.

As marriages evolve, particularly when there are kids involved, our Valentine's Days have changed over time. This year we are going out 3 days after Valentine's Day to see a musical. I am getting my toenails done (because I haven't seen them in 3 months and am not sure they're still there), bought a new dress and will be praying my water doesn't break at the theater. Captain Destructo has a babysitter and everything. As for romance, let's just say I walked into the lingerie department in Target, waddled right through to the back where the giant granny panties were, and bought a jumbo pack. So at least I'll be comfortable. My husband is a lucky. lucky, man.

Happy Valentine's Day!