I don't know what it is about a baby that makes everyone want to offer you advice. Maybe I looked just completely clueless with a baby, but it seemed like whenever I brought Captain Destructo out in public, everyone and their grandmother had some timeless wisdom to offer. Here are a few gems. Feel free to add yours.
1. When the baby bites you, bite them back. I'm not sure where this one got started, but I've heard it multiple times. Really, people? Bite them back? And when they are teenagers and yell "I hate you!" do you yell that back too?
2. Don't bring your baby out in public or they'll end up in the hospital! Because I can't think of what a brand-new, sleep-deprived, slightly depressed new mother needs more than to be told that their baby will end up in the hospital. If I brought the baby into a daycare center or was allowing strangers to touch her, I concede that she may have a chance of getting sick. When I was offered that advice, we were in Target and she was wrapped in a sling. Unless someone opened the sling and sneezed on her, I think we were okay.
3. Don't pick up that baby or you'll spoil her! Honestly, when I hadn't slept in a month (more if you count the high quality sleep I got the last trimester of pregnancy) I could have cared less if I would spoil her. I just cared about making her stop crying. Also? Pretty sure you can't spoil a 6 week old. I wasn't giving her ponies or anything.
4. Ooh, it's hot out. You should give her water in a cup. While this is appropriate advice for a toddler, or even a baby nearing one year, I found it interesting when offered to my four month old. Give her a cup? Sure. After that I'll grill her up some filet mignon and asparagus.
5. Rub a little whiskey on her gums. It'll help with her teething. Can we all just agree that giving alcohol to a baby is generally frowned upon? As is using alcohol as a pain killer. At least until the baby turns 28 and has their first child.
6. Why don't you just turn on the Disney Channel?" Now, if you've been reading this blog at all you know I am pro-TV. Magic box that has pretty pictures so Mama can take a shower without yelling "no, don't eat that!" out the door? Awesome. However, I'm not sure 3 months old is an appropriate age to start with the TV watching. Also, if you have seen anything on the Disney Channel lately, you will know that most shows are highly annoying. We've been watching the tube for a good year now and have yet to turn on the Disney Channel.