Attention fellow playground goers:
It has come to my attention that there needs to be some set of rules we can agree on. There is, of course, a list of rules at the entrance, but let's be honest, none of us read that. Here's a few I have come up with. I hope you find them agreeable.
-Parents, get off your phones.
Or at least turn so you're facing your kid and pretending to pay attention to him. It would help if you would also not text/play Angry Birds/check Facebook while your kid is climbing the slide and throwing rocks.
-I don't want to push your kid on the swings.
Really. He's cute and all, but I'm not going to stand here and push him while you chat. Pushing my own kid gets boring, and I like her a lot. Also, don't give me a dirty look when I tell him "go find your mom."
-Go down the slide.
Hey, dad. See how the rest of us are saying "no, go DOWN the slide" over and over? Guess what we think about you when you not only let your kid climb up but give them a boost? Yeah. Don't be that guy.
-Don't freak out.
When your kid trips and you say "OH MY GOSH!! ARE YOU OKAY?" he's crying because you freaked him out. No one ever died from a scratch. Better to say "awesome fall!" and send them on their way.
-If you are a teenager, get off the darn swing and give my kid a turn.
See how she's standing next to you and yelling "swing now?!" Go find a bench. Or maybe grow up and leave the playground.
-Enough with the photo sessions.
Yes, I do snap cute pictures of the kids with my phone and put them on Facebook every 10 seconds. I don't, however, break out the huge Nikon with the neck strap and follow my kid around like a papparazo. I saw 2 dads do that this weekend.
So, fellow patrons, if we can all agree to follow these, we will all have a much better time. Until they hear the ice cream truck and no set of rules will help us.