Well, it's summer vacation now. As previously mentioned, "vacation" has a completely different meaning for parents of small children. Captain Destructo, New Baby and I recently had to fly a leg of our trip by ourselves when my husband went to Germany (for work. Although I wouldn't blame him if he was just fleeing the country). As you can imagine, this was completely horrific and terrifying. Both kids had been up since 4:30 AM to catch a flight and both were in various states of meltdown by the time we took off. I was sandwiched between an older man with a clear disdain for children and a crying Captain Destructo, while nursing New Baby about 75 times to get her to stop crying. Good times. As you may expect, I was the recipient of a variety of comments during the flights and during the stay in Maryland with my family. (Um, by the way? Maryland is the hottest place in the history of ever right now. That is all.) Here is a sample.
-"You're not a bad mom. Sometimes babies just can't clear their ears in the air."
Well, I appreciate the thought behind that statement, but now I feel like a bad mom.
-"I pee pee in the chair!"
This was said by Captain Destructo at around 30,000 feet in the air. As you can imagine, potty training is going great.
-"You know how I got her to stop crying? I dipped her pacifier in that lemonade. Worked for my kids."
A member of my family told me this. I won't say who so I don't completely slander her. Also, does anyone know if 4 month olds can drink lemonade?
-"Sorry, ma'am, families with kids can't pre-board."
No problem. I'll just make the entire plane wait while I lumber down the walkway, put New Baby in her carrier, take Captain Destructo out of the stroller, take 5 minutes trying to figure out how to fold the stroller, then carry the baby, the toddler, a diaper bag and an Abby Cadabby backpack down the aisle of the plane. You have a good day too.
-(Sound of a giant toot followed by a baby giggling. Repeat 3 times in 2 hour flight. )
You know what's slightly difficult? Changing a gross diaper in a tiny airplane bathroom with no changing table. Even more difficult? Repeating it 3 times. In 2 hours.
I love seeing my family, but you know what they say. There's no place like home, with it's abundance of changing tables and beds for each child.
When we flew in April from Denmark to Florida, I was aghast to learn that families are not given pre-boarding permission any longer. I appreciate your humor about the subject, though I still get steamed when I think about how the airlines cut back on courtesies and continue to get away with fleecing us. I like to remember 'what comes around, goes around' - they will get theirs. Oh yes, they will.
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